When I am weak

Recently, some of you may or may not have known that I’ve been going through a thing. a something.

I have been and am learning a lot from this experience. One of which is the power of strength being made perfect in weakness.

When I first won these first class tickets for a downward spiral to Crisis Town, I tried my best to be “strong”. Not realizing that the more I tried to toughen up and pull up my bootstraps, the weaker I became.

It hasn’t been until recently, when I have not been capable of exhibiting a tough hard shell, that I have been able to find some resemblance of peace and true healing. Right now, I am not capable of not being vulnerable, of not being open, of not being weak”.

but it is within this current state of weakness, I am able to truly regain perspective, needing to call on my God, loved ones and look outside of myself.

I am being carried – existing – by strength outside of me.

I am in a cocoon.

awaiting the version of me I will meet beyond the chrysalis. 

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