I’m remarkably good at looking at the Bright side. I’ve had to be. But what kept me alive as a child (let’s call it “Annie Syndrome” for now), that is, always looking forward to the hope that lies ahead; My fascination & borderline obsession with tomorrow… “Tomorrow will be or has the opportunity to be better” … always running away from today.
Mostly because my earlier today’s were so beyond abhorrent. I was just trying to get through it all. Always positive. Always hopeful. Always trapped in an incessant unforgivably cringeworthy state of the extreme repugnant. Rapt delirium. It isn’t that bad. Isn’t it? They didn’t mean to. Didn’t they? Everything is going to be okay. Is it?
Now, I’m able check out from the present to my version of the upside down… I’m able to respond to the rude, arrogant, or just plain distasteful with grace and encouragement or reassurance… Now I’m able to tolerate…
too much…
Or am I?… Can my heart, body, and mind continue to tolerate or encourage mistreatment?
I am dmcmom, a mEs$eD-uP College Mom who's been through a lot but refuses to let it define her. A Wife, a Mother of three beautiful children, and University MBA Student, I am a lifelong learner - a person who loves learning, people, life (though i struggle with that last one sometimes, understandably)
I'm putting my diary out there for the world to see. To serve as a voice in the void of silence. For those also trapped and unheard.
This voice will not be consistent. Some days, I can guarantee will be sad. But there will also be days of hope. healing. curiosity. and wonder. Some days the voice will be of compassion and love. anger and hate. Sometimes the voice will be uncut. unfiltered. Sometimes paralyzed by fear, guilt, or condemnation.
But as long as I no longer hide the voice within the prison confines of isolation and shame, the flame behind that voice will not go out.
The aim most critical of dmcmom - removal of the duct tape from the voice's bruised lips.
I will no longer silence her.
And I will not let her die;
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